Using the “Family” word, silently to yourself, can change how you perceive potentially annoying peripheral people. Join me in attempting its proactive usage!
Words are powerful.
Especially when it comes to the Family word.
It often describes a fractured situation, but it also unconsciously infers a choiceless togetherness.
I used to regularly, mentally sling slurs at people with ease, semantically dividing myself from humanity, as a habit.
But I discovered that by using the F-word I can trick myself into unconsciously accepting the random humanity around me.
The Family word has always had mixed emotions for me.
But, beyond wether you feel good or bad towards your family, it’s a word that conceptually connects you to people on an intimate level, usually precluding your say in the matter.
And, while that could seem mildly oppressive, that choicelessness can be used to my knee jerk habit of rejecting strangers.
Sometimes, when i’m temporarily physically uncomfortably stuck in a crowd of strangers, I get claustrophobic and irritable.
Leading me to think unproductive, ungenerous thoughts towards them. To be less patient, and respond with inappropriate aggression.
Getting riled up, practicing silent intolerance towards these innocent and annoying entities around me.
One day,
while waiting at a crosswalk, hemmed in by a small group of random, unconscious, human mutants, I found myself feeling blocked in and irritable towards them.
Feeling the negative labels towards them rising inside of me, I decided to try and positively semantically redesignate them in my mind.
So, rather than calling them a whole bunch nasty names, I tried loosely labeling them as “Family”.
Just temporarily, mentally applying the word to them, without actually trying to generate or insinuate any genuine familial connection.
And immediately upon using the word toward them, I felt much less aggressive.
I was much less irritable that they were there.
Then the light changed, and we all went on our separate ways.
The word “family” has an unconscious effect upon me.
I accept much more erratic and obnoxious behavior from “family” than I do from normal people.
I think it’s a defensive psychological process we developed to stay sane while growing up.
Strangers normally don’t benefit from this exemption. Unless they’re attractive or invalid, they get the full brunt of our immediate irritation.
But, through the power of association, we can turn this ingrained family acceptance towards anyone we want. Using this label to trick our unconscious brain. To trigger our automatic defensive acceptance.
Using this power of family annoyance negation to reduce my knee jerk irritability.
By loosely using the family word towards people around me, I immediately find them less offensive.
We’re all part of the same species.
Creating unnecessary habitual divisions between us only weakens our unconscious capacity to comfortably coexist.
To accept, and allow yourself to be accepted. To be part of a shared world.
Family is a big word that creates a tiny but significant emotional change to our subconscious human associations.
Just enough to relax around their slightly irritating proximity.
Family are family
Whether you love em or not, there’s not much you can do about it. You’re just used to accept it as best as you can.
All of the effort we’ve put into creating our association with the word, can be applied to the benefit of our daily existence.
To the ability of tolerating the rest of the world, and maybe even loving some of it.
Once I’d accepted these previous randos as temporary family, I relaxed. I felt more unconsciously at ease around them, and reciprocally accepted. Less unconsciously at odds.
I discovered that they were actually better than my actual family, because I had no worrisome future causality or responsibility towards them. Sharing nothing other than our very temporary yet peaceful coexistence.
It gave these strangers a solid, if false, context in my life. Uniting us as a group, reducing their individual intimidations.
I like the idea that well applied labels can make us more accepting towards people.
Creating positive connective biases inside ourselves by choice!
Removing unconscious word walls.
We have a thousand names in, the back of our brains.
Using the Family word, lightly tricks us into acceptance, despite any practiced rejective habits.
We don’t have to call everybody our Family,
but if we can include all the relatively non-toxic, ambient humans we come across, it can allow our perception of them to become more porous. More accepting. Less brittle or easily unbalanced.
Getting in the habit of silently accepting strangers. Practicing human unity.
Not necessarily with any real affection, but just as a positive mental categorization exercise.
They don’t even have to know that they’ve been temporarily made part of your family.
It’s not about them. It’s all about you.
Besides categories, what’s dividing us?
Sometimes, we’re too good at finding reasons not to accept people. We feel it’s important to preemptively block them from our lives.
We’ve got to learn how to subconsciously expand our human universe. And it begins inside our brain. Small twists of perception that allow strangers to more easily become part of your collective.
The more we can exercise our acceptance perception, the better people get to know us, and the better we get to know ourselves.
The less we’ll abuse ourselves by needlessly criticising others.
The better we’ll get at comfortably coexisting as part of a species.
Let’s be a “Family”. In a good way.